Open letter to the year from hell

Dear 2007.

I'm so glad you came to visit us, but I must say, I'm glad you are going. You see, you weren't a pleasant guest. You ate all the chips and drank all the beer. You left your dirty underwear on the living room floor, and never put the toilet seat down when you finished in the bathroom. So, to honor your departure, I would like to write down here everything I didn't like about you. I hope you never return, or at least if you do, please do not act like a frat boy.

1. Friends (or lack of true ones). I learned from you, 2007, that those who must state they are "a good friend" are usually not. Those who never mention it, but are always there, are the ones I should have give more attention.

2. Chaos. From ice storms to flooding bathrooms, and from vehicular accidents to friends' divorces, we have seen our fair share of your wild side.

3. 2007, you drained me financially and mentally. I have nothing left to give, even at this special time of year (read: Christmas).

There you have it, dear 2007. I'm not sure I've ever entertained a year quite like you, and can say for sure that I hope 2008, as reassuring as those even numbers are, is as gentle a lamb as you were a lion.

So long, 2007. May you rest in the knowledge that you definitely made us miserable - something we thought 1999 had already accomplished.